It is basically a diary of my life, just so I can keep clear in my head what I've done each day, it's also to express my views and share stuff I've learn't. I'm not a great speller or writer, so I apologise but I just kinda like typing, so this is a way to do lots of mindless typing, which may eventually get read.
Tuesday, 26 June 2012
Lazy days
Since I have finished school, I find that I just no will power to do anything anymore, no determination or drive. I mean today all I did was get up late then watch star trek voyager for 12 hours straight, I mean why? I know I could have done something and at points of the day I did want to do something but I just couldn't be bothered and now I feel guilty for wasting the day. I just don't know how to get motivation back into my life, I found that before my exams that I had the same problem that I CBA to do anything, then at the last minuet I felt the stress of exams and started working, but now that stress has gone I just don't do anything. I find that I am no longer living my life, but mearly existing with no purpose or direction. I try to be a spiritual person and pray, but I find I get no answer and it's causing to doubt my faith. For example when trying to choose university's and courses, I prayed a lot and the only answer I seemed to get is that I would have to make up my own mind, which I hate doing as I hate making decisions. And when I say I hate it I really mean it, it takes me forever to make my mind up about anything and even when I do finally make up my mind, I'm always second guessing myself and wishing I had done things differently even If I had made a good decision. If anyone reading this has any advice no matter when your reading this, I would greatly apritiate it.
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